I had always asked myself if I was a bad baby? what did I do for my birth mom to leave.
So many secrets around my life. At 5 years old my life forever changed, I came to live with my dad and my stepmom, (from this point forward I will call her my mom). I remember crying as my Grandfather dropped me off to my new home and promising my grandfather, I would be good do as I was told. When we arrived, I was scared, here I was 5 years old trying to figure out what I did wrong to be taken away from the only people I have known. I remember being in court and the judge ask me who I wanted to live with I said my grandparents, the judge said I wish I could do that, but I must do what I feel is right for you and break the circle, you don’t understand now but you will you get older. This is how I came to live with my mom and dad. At that moment, my 5-year-old Pam persona appeared (My Mask)
My parents had a dog named tuffy, I had never had a pet of any sort so if you can imagine a 5-year-old new place, and this dog jumping all over me, talk about being scared.
The first couple of weeks I was quite, I did not know what to call my mom at the time, so I would say yes and no and thank you ma’am and yes sir and no thank you. Then one day my Dixie (my mon) said you call me Dixie or Mom but no more ma’am. I feel I wanted a mom so bad I started to call her Mom and started to call my “dad” Dad. As I am writing as seen through the eye of Pam at 5 years old. Speaking her truth.
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